(We don’t know their intent.) They think we do, but we don’t.Ĭourtney: That’s my dream in life. 99% of conversations and communication mishaps, in my opinion, happen because we don’t know where the other person’s coming from. One of the things that I like to do, in terms of starting any direct and potentially tough conversation, is start with your intent and saying that intent out loud. That’s not an effective way of dealing with things, especially if you’re their leader. I mean, you can’t hit snooze on tough conversations forever, especially if it’s someone you work with really closely. You know you need to take care of it, but you keep hitting snooze, and eventually, that’s going to blow up in your face. I like to call it “snoozing” on them, like hitting the snooze button. As a leadership skills speaker, I love giving any sort of breakout session or keynote on tough conversations because I think, especially in the workplace, we avoid them. I’m not sure if that’s a good approach or not, but I want to pose that question to you Courtney.Ĭourtney: I think direct conversations are one of my favorite things to talk about. The Negative Nancies generally don’t know what’s going to make them happy. And some of them who had that direct communication style, they actually just asked that person, “Hey, Negative Nancy. If you’re working from home, it’s much easier. I remember one saying one of their approaches was literally just to avoid them saying. You hear stories, whether it’s your co-workers or your friends, around how they’ve dealt with Negative Nancies. Jigna: It’s all alliterations going forward, but if they’re going to exist, and you’re their manager, how do you sort of manage that situation? I was trying to think of a male name with an “N.” Jigna: Yeah, I don’t think you can avoid a Negative Nancy in an office setting or one in the family. As I mentioned earlier, as a leader, I’ve learned over time to ask, “What’s really going on here?” I can’t be your best bud, and I need to know if this is a real problem or not! I need to find out if this is just someone griping and venting, or if this is a real problem that I, as a leader, now needs to help her solve. I’d ask her to start getting specific for me, basically try to help her problem solve.

As a leader, I’m going to start asking more questions, especially if Nancy is complaining about clients or complaining about other co-workers. To me, that’s where we’ve got to start really thinking it through. (No one teaches a leadership skills class on dealing with her!) Now it’s a little tougher when you have a Negative Nancy and you’re the person’s leader. I’ve been on another conference call.” Right?Ĭourtney: Yeah, absolutely. Jennifer: It’s probably easier to avoid them right? Blame it on other things, like “Oh I’m so sorry. It might be something as simple as “Oh my gosh! Nancy, I’m sorry you had a bad drive to work today but I have a call in five minutes. So think through what role are you playing, and if you can kind of step away from this person. You got to be really conscientious and guard yourself when it comes to Negative Nancies. But she was very negative, and six months into my role, I hated that place. I remember back in my first job at Neiman’s, I worked in a very small office and the person that I worked really closely with was fantastic and I loved her. We don’t find a way to excuse ourselves, and I bet it’s not working for you.Īnd it shouldn’t, be because let me tell you, the Negative Nancies rub off on people. Sometimes we are that ear, and we let it go longer than it should. So, another thing I always like to think about is what role I am playing in this, because the Negative Nancies of the world need an ear to complain to… A Negative Nancy can fall into any communication style category. I always think about what category is this person falling into first, because that helps me flex my communication style. It was flooding everywhere, and then my coffee spilled on me…and then I got all wet getting out of my car…” Jennifer: (Laughing) If a Negative Nancy is spirited, she’s like, “Alright guys, it’s another bad day!”Ĭourtney: A spirited Negative Nancy might get to the office, and she’s like “Oh my gosh you guys, I had the worst drive to work today. In which quadrant do I think they land?Īre they more direct, are they more inspirational and spirited, are they more steady and considerate, are they more conscientious and systematic? Even though they might be Negative, Nancy can fall into any one of those four quadrants. What we all think when we run into Negative Nancy at work…Ĭourtney: When it comes to Negative Nancy or any personality type we’re about to discuss, I like to first think about the communication style quadrants.

Negative nancy founded